In a mountainous village thousands of miles away from the Philippines, Emma Sumampong both took care of her husband and children, her aging mother-in-law, and worked as co-workers and clerical workers after hours.

Sumampong is one of a number of foreign women who marry Korean men and immigrate to the country with this aging population. Meanwhile, Korean women tend not to want to get married, against the tradition that their wives have to submit to their husbands and take care of their parents-in-law.

Foreign brides, like Sumampong, met Lee Byung-ho's husband through the matchmaking service, which partly helped Korean men solve the "problem of finding a wife" to have someone to look after their elderly parents.

Unlike developed economies in Asia like Japan and Singapore, South Korea does not allow foreign workers to work in aged care, such as nursing homes. Therefore, the burden of caring for elderly parents falls on the shoulders of their children and, in particular, immigrant brides. Therefore, many localities in rural areas have to support "wife's tour" abroad for single men who cannot find a fiancée who is indigenous.

In Sumampong's case, she struggled to meet the needs of three generations of her husband's family in the countryside, working hard on vegetable fields every day and trying to keep another part-time job.

"I always try to be strong mentally and physically to overcome all difficulties," Sumampong, 48, said.

Everyday, Sumampong wakes up early at 5 o'clock to cook breakfast for the family, cleans the house and takes the three children to school. Later, she went to the district government office to work part-time as a clerical secretary. At noon, this wife came to take care of her husband's family's vegetable field and went home to cook dinner. The Filipino daughter-in-law is also the main caregiver for her 89-year-old mother-in-law, who is unable to walk by herself, helping her toilets, bathing and dressing.

Sumampong's efforts were recognized by the local government and the Korean Family Welfare Association decided to award the "exemplary daughter-in-law" (hyobu) to her in June, in honor of the wife fulfilling her duties in husband's family. Sumampong also took care of his sick father-in-law until his death in 2012.

The hyobu national award is not only for immigrant brides, but few native speakers are awarded. More and more Korean women do not want to take care of their parents-in-law and take on the traditional responsibilities of their daughter-in-law, leading to their reluctance to marry.

According to a South Korean government report, in 2018 only 22.4% of single women thought marriage was necessary, a significant decrease compared to 46.8% in 2010, while the birth rate Its country is among the lowest in the world. Experts predict that by 2030, nearly a quarter of South Korea's population will be 65 years of age or older and the government lacks measures to support the elderly in case families cannot care for them.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to find an exemplary foreign wife like Sumampong. Park In-seong, 48, who is taking care of his elderly mother in Incheon City, said he had contacted many matchmaking service companies, but has yet to find a wife.

"The truth is that no Korean girl dares to marry someone like me out of fear of taking care of my mother. Some men are lucky to find a foreign wife willing to take care of her parents-in-law," Mr. Park said.

In rural areas, the situation of men not being able to find wives has become more serious as young people, especially women, have migrated to big cities for many years.

The case of Sumampong's mother-in-law is a prime example of the patriarchal view: she was always angry when she saw her son helping his wife with housework.

"My mother-in-law taught me that men in the family are kings," Sumampong shared, trying to keep a positive attitude to the wishes of her mother-in-law.

When asked if she was happy, she said: "I was very happy to start a family life with my husband."

Her husband works at an electronics company with a modest salary, but has more money to go to the field thanks to the farm.

Sumampong plans to use the bonus of about $ 2,000 to return to the Philippines to visit family after 6 years of separation. She is now considered the model daughter-in-law in the village. A local official named Nam Koo-hyu, who proposed to award the hyobu to Sumampong, said: "Sumampong is a shining example for immigrant brides to follow."

About 260,000 foreign brides live in Korea. Every year, 15,000 women marry Korean men believed to be life-changing, most from China, Vietnam and the Philippines. Some cases face abuse and violence by their in-laws. Foreign brides must meet the patriarchal tradition in Korea, regardless of their cultural background, according to experts.

Some textbooks even have lessons emphasizing that men like women to "worship, do their husband's will," speak softly and politely.

"The hyobu award is to uphold the tradition of seeing women as the sole caretaker for the whole family and that is their duty. It is ridiculous to give this award to foreign brides. Why are we demanding asked the foreign bride to be the ideal wife while the majority of young Korean girls do not want to take this role, "said Hyunjoo Naomi Chi, professor of public policy, Hokkaido University.

Bonnie Lee, who lives in Seoul and has no plans to get married, agrees that the hyobu award is outdated.

"There are no Korean women in their 20s and 30s who want to be honored as hyobu. Why don't we have an award for exemplary son-in-law, simply because they never existed," Lee said. to speak.